It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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