Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
