i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
