What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
