He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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