why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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