he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
