i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Randomize
