so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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