We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
