normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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