How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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