so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
