tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
