Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
