Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
