What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
