how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
