I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
