I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
