Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
