Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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