Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
