You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
