He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
