I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
