dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
