She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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