come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
