Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
