i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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