I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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