I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
