So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Sext me about skeletons
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
