his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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