i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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