I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
