So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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