how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
