Whod you bang
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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