Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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