so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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