This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
porn star boner night. come get it.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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