my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
