Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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