he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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