sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
