this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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