Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
