Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
