Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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