he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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