lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
