office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
