I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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