my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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