You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
