last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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