For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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