Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
