So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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