The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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