i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
