I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
