i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I miss vodka workout Fridays
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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