I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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