I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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