Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
