meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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