sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
