if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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