I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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