you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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