she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
