whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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