I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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